KEY LINKS
2025 MILFORD STEVENSON ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
SEP 22, 2024
Closure After Betrayal
When you’ve been betrayed, much of your confidence is stripped away by the realization that someone you trusted could let you down so profoundly.
The hurt is amplified when it involves someone with whom you’ve shared your most private affairs, whether voluntarily or involuntarily. Moving on from betrayal, whether in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even an acquaintance, often stirs a relentless desire for closure.
Popular culture defines closure as the opportunity to voice your truths, even when the betrayer lacks the respect to offer an explanation for their actions. However, I’ve found something eye-opening about this concept of closure: what truly matters isn’t the consolation they might offer, but the internal battle you face as you wrestle with your bruised confidence.
Confidence is the foundation of everything meaningful in your life. It shapes how you form relationships, express emotions, and imagine possibilities. True closure, then, is not about having your perspective validated by the other person. Rather, it’s a desperate attempt to restore the confidence you lost as a result of the betrayal.
This is a delicate dance, one that requires finesse and self-awareness. If you’re not careful, you might mistake closure as a way to validate your assumptions through the other person’s acknowledgment.
But even if they were to validate your perspective, it wouldn’t erase the pain. It wouldn’t stop the internal questioning of your own worth.
Closure is not about proving someone else wrong or justifying your perspective. It’s about reclaiming the confidence that was shaken. It’s about finding the strength to believe in yourself again.
Every fiber of your being, your ability to live fully and authentically, depends on the confidence you have in yourself. Your confidence dictates your relationships, your emotions, and your capacity to stand firm in your identity.
Somewhere along the way, popular culture has misrepresented confidence as something external — a trait that precedes the human experience. But in reality, confidence is the human experience. It’s the essence of self-awareness, grounded in your values, beliefs, and boundaries.
If you align with your values and cleanse the beliefs that no longer serve you, what remains is raw, unshakable confidence. Confidence is the awareness of your truths, the assumptions you’ve accepted, and the boundaries you’ve chosen to protect.
Upholding these boundaries is an act of upholding your worth because a life without boundaries is one that will be perpetually trespassed upon.
So, what you’re truly seeking after betrayal isn’t closure, it’s enclosure. It’s not about validating your perspective or disproving the other person. It’s about standing within the pain of the experience and asking yourself:
↳ Was it worth it?
↳ Now that this has happened, do I have the strength to rebuild?
↳ Can I rise—not just to where I was before, but stronger than ever?
Enclosure is about restoring the confidence you’ve lost. It’s a personal stance, a reclamation of your self-worth and your ability to move forward. While this exploration of betrayal and confidence barely scratches the surface, I encourage you to reflect on it deeply. You’ll come to realize that what you’re truly looking for, following a betrayal, is not validation from someone else.
It’s the resurrection of your confidence, your inner self restored and strengthened.